Places to drink real ale in Belgium

Having received my new passport from the Yorkshire authorities, I took it upon myself to see if you can buy beer outside York. First I looked in Lancashire; no, only kidding, Yorkshire passports aren't valid in Lancashire! Instead, I went to Belgium. As you may know from my guide to where to drink Belgian beer in York, York is the best place to drink Belgian beers. However, having heard that you can also buy Belgian beer in Belgium, I thought I'd give it a try.

Bruges

Some people say that Bruges is the only place worth visiting in Belgium. They're wrong of course; Belgian is full of nice places, and they're all steeped in beery goodness. However, Bruges is especially beholden in the eye of the God of Beer (who, presumably, is the guy who keeps all the Belgian monks busy making the stuff). Amongst its many beer shrines are two outstanding places of beer worship: Staminee De Gare and t'Brugs Beertje.

Staminee De Garre is hidden away down a narrow alley, situated not far from the main tourist area. Prior to opening, De Garre can be found propped up by an enormous cheese. Later this is chopped up into small pieces and served free with the beer. The beer range is small by Belgian standards (which are not modest), but includes De Garre's own Trippel, which is strong, creamy and goes perfectly with the cheese. Other food is also available, though the details are lost in a beer fog: possibly slices of meat and cheese? Unfortunately the place is no longer a well-kept secret, so don't get your hopes up for a table at peak times.

Café t'Brugs Beertje, located not far from t'Zand, is a landmark of the Bruges beer drinking experience. Unlike De Gare, it has an extensive beer range, cunningly obfuscated by the long, rambling beer menu. I'd recommend leaving about half an hour to choose your first beer. Other than the beer range, another reason to come here is the scenery: it's a proper old man's pub, covered in charismatic old beer signage. Whilst the front room is often full, there's a second room hidden away at the back; go past the toilets, through the door, across the alley, and you're almost there.

If two pubs aren't enough for you, I'd also recommend Herberg Vlissinghe, which is allegedly the oldest pub in Bruges. It must be the only perfectly square pub I've ever been to: imagine a small square wood-panelled room with a tiny bar in the corner, and it's like you're there already. There's also a unique soap feature in the toilets, but I won't ruin the surprise.

If you're hungry and you want to see another enormous beer menu, visit Gambrinus. Unlike most Belgian pubs, its food menu goes well beyond sliced meat and cheese. On the downside, it's usually full of people eating. Reserve several hours for studying the beer menu.

Gent

Gent, Bruges' big brother, is only half an hour away by train, and is well worth a beer visit. There are a few good pubs around the place. Probably the best one is Het Waterhuis aan de Bierkant, a nice old place overlooking the river. Its beer menu is pretty well endowed, and it has a pleasant historic interior to boot. Next door is a Gent institution, t'Dreupelkot. Basically a shrine to Belgian gin, it is tiny and run by a grupy old man. In the door is his grumpometer: be extra wary when its indicator in the grumpy zone. It doesn't serve much beer though, so why would you want to visit?

However, the real reason to visit Gent is to bear witness to t'Velootje, a pub which bears no resemblance to any other pub you've ever been to. If you like junk, gloom, stuff hanging from the ceiling, and difficult to locate seating (it's under the junk), you'll love it. The owner has a beard, and possibly a cat, and will serve you whichever beer he happens to come across. Finding it open can be a challenge, and it's not for the feint of heart, but it is basically awesome.

Antwerp

Anterp is an hour's train ride from Bruges. Whilst also home to a range of pubs, the reason to come here is to go to the Kulminator. In beer worship terms, this is a cathedral, with catacombs full of old beer. The beer menu contains beer ages as well as names and (if you're under 40) some of them may be older than you. Fancy a 30 year old Westvletern? I did, and I had one - it was a bargain at 15 Euros! The place also has cats. Cats and beer are, of course, the perfect combination. Well, cats and beer and plates of meat and cheese. However, there's not a huge amount of seating, so arrive early.

Brussels

Brussels is not full of argumentative policiticans in suits: like all of Belgium, it's full of beer. More to the point, it's full of the best sort of Belgian beer - lambic! Of course, you must visit the Cantillon brewery. It's old, it's full of yeast, and (assuming you don't have a weak heart) you can try their fabulously sour beers. Mmm. After you've done that, visit A La Mort Subite and try their faro. Unlike the beautiful Cantillon geuzes, it has sugar in it, so you can let your sour taste buds recover before popping into Moeder Lambic and punishing them with some more geuze complemented by a range of cheese. If you're still alive after all this, pay a visit to La Bécasse and drink their home-made faro, which is served in its own ceramic jug.